In a shocking move, Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) has announced that it's selling off a part of its campus and who's the lucky buyer? None other than India's favorite billionaire, Gautam Adani!
Sources close to the deal revealed that the government was tired of JNU students' constant whining about social justice, equality, and other "irrelevant" issues. So, they decided to sell the campus to someone who'll put an end to all that nonsense - Adani.
"We're thrilled to welcome Adani to the JNU family," said a government spokesperson. "He's promised to replace all the campus's trees with Adani-branded billboards and rename the university 'Adani School of Obedience'."
Students, however, are less than thrilled. "This is a disaster," said Rohan, a JNU student. "We'll have to protest outside Adani's house now. I hear his security team is tougher than our professors."
When asked about the sale, Adani smiled and said, "I'm excited to add JNU to my collection of government-owned entities. It's like collecting stamps, but with more student unrest."
As the campus changes hands, one thing's certain - JNU's spirit of resistance will live on, even if it means protesting outside Adani's mansion.